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Essay Makeover 1: What is the value of Mathematics?

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This essay is a generally a higher order question. Few students can attempt this question, well. The original essay is already a great answer to the essay title. The points raised are highly relevant. There are minimal to no grammatical errors. Sentence structures are varied and the vocabulary is sensible.


What was missing was an overall feel of passion and argumentative tone. The student chose to have a single stance on the topic in firmly affirming that Mathematics has value. It is clear from the introduction that the student has a penchant for Mathematics. It's totally alright in your General Paper essay to choose one side from introduction to conclusion - as long as your points are solid. It is typically recommended that students who already have a natural flair for argumentation to choose this style of writing. The only hitch with this one is that when you want to present only the "pros" of a topic, and don't wish to cover the "cons" of the topic, a mature student should still acknowledge that the cons exist, and argues that despite the cons the pros weight more.


There are also some ideas that repeat themselves in more than one paragraph in the original version that I have combined together in the makeover essay.


While the original essay does handsomely and bravely take to present a single stance, in the essay makeover, we enhance it to acknowledge the cons without directly mentioning the cons.


This is certainly a high order essay answer attempt.


More resources available when you scroll down.

Happy reading, and if you want to learn more about Argumentative Tone, watch this video here.


What is the value of Mathematics?

Key: Green are new words introduced. Red is added argumentative tone.

Original Essay

Makeover Essay

​“All things in nature occur mathematically.” These words from the great mathematician Rene Descartes hints at the perennial worth of mathematics. Defined by Aristotle as the science of quantity, it consists of two main branches: pure and applied mathematics. Mathematics is ubiquitous. From basic arithmetic to complex differential equations, it forms the basis of our daily lives. The prosperity of ancient civilisation has often been gauged by the level of their mathematics. Is this importance exaggerated?


Mathematics solves problems. Despite being usually connoted with complexity, it markedly simplifies the complex world. Researchers from Stanford University have proved this: a speck of mathematical understanding enhances one’s problem-solving skills remarkably. Further, basic notions of statistics are crucial in our modern society. The media is constantly throwing around numbers and figures; only a sound mathematical mind can properly interpret them. Cedric Villani, a French mathematician, used his skills to get elected to the National Assembly. Indeed, Mathematics represents an invaluable asset.



Technology relies on mathematics. The seemingly innocent circuitry of a washing machine has only been made possible by the Fourier transform. Discovered by Joseph Fourier, this theorem is the backbone of modern electronics. In simple terms, it allows the deconstruction of any electrical signal into fundamental signals, hence pioneering microprocessors. Further, contemporary medical equipment also depends on mathematics. CT-scanning-used for the imaging of internal body structures- involves the solving of millions of simultaneous equations. This minimally intrusive technique helps reveal the presence of tumours at an early stage. Hence, mathematics saves lives. We cannot question its worth.


Mathematics is usually regarded as the peak of human intellect. Entire universities are founded in the name of mathematics. The Massachusetts Institute of Technology, renowned for producing some of the brightest minds is one of them. There, mathematics is almost mandatory at every level. Unquestionably, it is primordial to our academic growth. The science of numbers is valued so much that the Lowell Putnam Mathematics Competition is held yearly between universities, as a show of brilliance. One simply cannot pursue any scientific field without mathematical knowledge.


“God used beautiful mathematics in creating the world”- Paul Dirac. Nature follows precise equations. The orbits of heavenly bodies are governed by Kepler’s laws- simple yet elegant mathematical relations. We cannot hope to fathom the complexity of our macrocosm without numbers. Without them, we would be lost in the vast universe, unable to understand our history and more importantly, our future. Undoubtedly, global warming illustrates the clairvoyance of mathematics. It was predicted by mathematical models decades before its irreversibility, providing us with the hope of saving Mother Nature. If even nature values mathematics, how arrogant would we be to dismiss its significance?


Mathematics allowed historical civilisations to thrive. The Mughal empire’s rise to power can be credited to their clever use of numbers in trades. This allowed them to become profitable merchants. Through using the revenue, they established themselves and developed their sphere of influence, eventually conquering most of South Asia. Further, pyramids exist thanks to mathematics. The sandstone giants are the brainchildren of mathematically apt Egyptian architects. Mathematics proved to be a milestone that our ancestors had to cross. Else, humans might have gone extinct. Mathematics affirms its value yet again.


Nothing can be universal. Yet, mathematics is. Despite being from different eras, Albert Einstein- recognised as one of the greatest minds to have ever lived- used Newton’s and Galileo’s insights to devise his theory of relativity. Mathematics transcends all barriers. Every entity, even Gaia itself, understands and follows the same mathematics. Millenia from now, the only vestige that is sure to be left for our descendants is our mathematics. Theorems never go irrelevant. Just like we have built upon the Pythagoras theorem, new theories always develop on their predecessors, forever expanding our knowledge. The value of mathematics is ever-lasting.


Srinivas Ramanujan once said that an equation is the expression of a thought of God. Mathematics widen our appreciation of the Divine. Even for an atheist, mathematics is the periscope that allows them to peek at universal beauty. As if set by a higher intelligent being, dimensional proportions in nature all seem to follow the golden ratio. Such coincidences strike us with awe. Whether we believe in God or not, no one can discard mathematics as the simplest explanation to all of existence. In a sense, mathematics gives meaning to life.


Mathematics is the most powerful weapon in our intellectual arsenal. It is proof that we have prospered as a race and is of utmost importance to our identity. The future will always be uncertain. However, we can be sure that whatever our descendants invent or achieve, mathematics will be at its base. That is simply how valuable this all-encompassing science is.

Around 300 BC, Aristotle defined mathematics as the science of quantity, consisting of two main branches: pure and applied mathematics. In the 18th century, great mathematician Rene Descartes said that all things in nature occur mathematically. This perennial importance given to mathematics by leading philosophers of different ages possibly hints at its great value. I think that mathematics is ubiquitous. From basic arithmetic to complex differential equations, it forms the basis of our daily lives. The prosperity of ancient civilisation has often been gauged by the level of their mathematics. Is this importance exaggerated?


Mathematics solves simple every day and larger life problems not for any specific or exclusive social segment. Despite being routinely & inaccurately labelled as “complex” by some wanky teenagers, it markedly simplifies the complex world. In 2016, researchers from Stanford University have proved that even a mere speck of mathematical understanding enhances one’s problem-solving skills remarkably. After all, basic notions of statistics are crucial in navigating today's World. For instance, our buzzing media landscape is often thrashed with catchy statistics sets that sensationalise events. A sound mathematical mind can properly interpret them, playing a monstrously understated role in producing independent thinkers, even if in a seemingly, pro-democratic world of our times. Contrary to popular beliefs, Mathematics is not just an asset for the intellectual fringe, but also an invaluable tool for the modern day “Jack at the bus stop.”


Mathematics is more than heavily nested at the heart of technology. By way of simple illustration, the precariously innocent circuitry of a washing machine has only been made possible by the Fourier transform which is itself based on a theorem that constitutes the very backbone of modern day electronics. Indeed, the pioneering of microprocessors would have been impossible without mathematical rigour. There exists many such technological advancements that have been aided consistently by increasingly complex mathematical modelling. For example, contemporary medical equipment like the CT-scan used for the imaging of internal body structures, involves the solving of millions of simultaneous equations. This minimally intrusive technique helps reveal the presence of tumours at an early stage. Mathematics has not only positioned itself to enhance lives, but also save lives. By virtue of the importance we place in the advancement and continued prosperity and survival of the human race, even the thought of questioning the fundamental worth of mathematics is arguably outrageous/ we cannot question its worth.


Throughout the history of human civilisation, Mathematics has persistently been regarded as the peak of human intellect. The Mughal empire’s rise to power can be incontestably credited to their clever use of numbers in trades. This allowed them to become profitable merchants. Through using the revenue, they established themselves and developed their sphere of influence, eventually conquering most of South Asia. Further, pyramids exist thanks to mathematics. The sandstone giants are the brainchildren of mathematically apt Egyptian architects. Mathematics proved to be a milestone that our ancestors had to cross. Mathematics affirms its value yet again as the world’s leading universities are founded in the name of mathematics even today. The Massachusetts Institute of Technology, renowned for producing some of the brightest minds, is one of them. There, mathematics is almost mandatory at every level. To maintain the primordiality of maths to academic growth, the Lowell Putnam Mathematics Competition is held annually between universities, as a show of intellectual brilliance.


“God used beautiful mathematics in creating the world”- Paul Dirac. Srinivas Ramanujan once said that an equation is the expression of a thought of God. Mathematics widens our appreciation of the Divine. Even for an atheist, mathematics is the periscope that allows them to peek at universal beauty. As if set by a higher intelligent being, dimensional proportions in nature all seem to follow the golden ratio. Such coincidences strike us with awe. Whether we believe in God or not, no one can discard mathematics as the simplest explanation to all of existence. In a sense, mathematics gives meaning to life. The orbits of heavenly bodies are governed by Kepler’s laws- simple yet elegant mathematical relations. We cannot hope to fathom the complexity of our macrocosm without numbers. Without them, we would be lost in the vast universe, unable to understand our history and more importantly, our future. Undoubtedly, global warming illustrates the clairvoyance of mathematics. It was predicted by mathematical models decades before its irreversibility, providing us with the hope of saving Mother Nature. When even nature values mathematics, how arrogant would we be to dismiss its significance?


Nothing can be universal. Yet, mathematics is. Despite being from different eras, Albert Einstein- recognised as one of the greatest minds to have ever lived- used Newton’s and Galileo’s insights to devise his theory of relativity. Theorems never go irrelevant. Just like we have built upon the Pythagoras theorem, new theories always develop on their predecessors, forever expanding our knowledge. The future will always be uncertain. However, regardless of what you and I think, whatever our descendants invent or achieve, mathematics will be at its base. That is simply how valuable this all-encompassing science is.


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Word: 841

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