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This essay is a generally an easy question. Many students can attempt this question, well. The original essay is already a great answer to the essay title. It touches well upon the 3 elements of the question requirement:
Which sex crimes are most prevalent? Assess their causes and propose solutions to combat them.
most
causes
propose solutions
The points raised are highly relevant. There are some grammatical errors. Sentence structures are varied and the vocabulary could have been more sensible. The essay submitted does a fairly good job at answering the question and would score decently.
The conclusion is weak and incomplete. Also, the studies the student quotes are of questionable nature until the sources are explicit. This essay was also almost lusting for statistical figures. What was missing was an overall feel of organised structure to the essay. Whilst the paragraphs answers the 3 elements in the question, it doesn't do it clearly enough.
most - A good thing to have done in the introduction would have been to enumerate the sex crimes of your choice, (e.g. rape, incest, child sexual abuse and prostitution) and then use each body paragraph to justify why you think each is one of the "MOST" prevalent ones. An overall good thing to have done would have been to define a particular set of societies to study in order to better defend the selection of the sex crimes.
causes - Largely good. Some deeper reasons as to the causes might be more scoring.
propose solutions - Are a bit too obvious and not necessarily feasible. Most students would tend to say that a solution is "Education"/"Government-Sponsored Campaigns". Proposing different solutions would have been more scoring.
A massive topic loophole for a mature GP student is not addressing sexual harassment in this essay, which is the most conspicuous and infamously notorious sex crime in most societies globally. With the rise of the #MeToo Mauritius movement and the Telegram scandal of revenge porn in Mauritius and the circulation of pornographic material and nudes of Mauritian women shared in private networks, the Cambride marking scheme would probably expect this sex crime to be included as a default under this topic. Also, a way to make this essay higher order would have been to cover the sex-related verbal and psychological abuse - not just towards women, but also towards the LGBTQ+ communities as well as cis-het-males.
More resources available when you scroll down.
Which sex crimes are most prevalent? Assess their causes and propose solutions to combat them.
Key: Green are new words introduced. Red is added argumentative tone.
Original Essay | Makeover Essay |
Sex crimes refer to offenses involving sexual assault or having a sexual motive towards another person who is unwilling and which are illegal. It could be that the sexual assaults take place with a lack of consent by one party or when one individual is incapable of consent. There do exist several solutions to fight against its causes.
First, one kind of sexual assault is rape. Rape is a non-consensual sex whereby the perpetrator is a criminal going against the law. The act of non-consensual sex is prevailing around the world. South Africa being the country with the highest rate of rape in the world, according to studies carried out, one of the cause of rape is due to psychopathy. The psychopaths are deemed to have a sadistic mind, perceiving women as being helpless and molest them. Such perversion is uncontrollable in India whereby only in Delhi, every fifteen minutes, a female is raped according to surveys carried out. A major footstep to help in reducing the number of rape cases is to recommend and offer the psycopaths help of psychologists to heal their evil mindset. Moreover, another assault is human trafficking which is a flourishing business. The business of human trade occurs mostly for the purpose of sexual exploitation for the trafficker or others. Of the causes is the fast growing of the sex industry over these years. Through physical force, threats, psychological manipulation and other tactics, the perpetrators obtain their victims. Many countries such as Pakistan, Thailand, China, India and Bangladesh are among the top countries with the highest number of trafficking victims around the world. These nations might find it hard to combat these illegal acts. Since the introduction of a revolutionary prostitution law in 1999, in Sweden dramatically reduced the number of its women in prostitution. Also, the number of foreign women now being trafficked into Sweden for sex is nil. Thus, one solution might be the legalisation of prostitution which may lead to a fall in the illegal trade of humans for sexual exploitation. Additionally, another sex offense is incest whereby there is sexual activity between family members or close relatives. This typically includes sexual activity between people in a consaguineous relationship and sometimes those related by affinity. The incest taboo is and has been one of the most widespread of all cultural taboos, in present and in many past societies. Currently, some countries are legalising incest, yet remains illegal in many such as Ireland, Mauritius. Studies have shown that one of its causes is with society as it is a taboo subject. From the part of the media, there is no awareness about this taboo issue which results in many cases of sexual intercourse within families. Many countries such as Argentina, Brazil, India, Thailand, Turkey and Japan have legalised incest. But a better solution might be the role of parents to educate their children about this taboo subject thereby reducing the cases of incest. Furthermore, child sexual abuse cases have gained a rapid growth for years. Child abuse occurs when an adult or older adolescent uses a child for sexual stimulation. It could be that the child is forced or pressured to engage in sexual activities, to intimidate or groom the child, to have physical sexual contact or to use the child to produce child pornography. One cause might be poverty whereby child labour and sexual exploitation arise due to the inability of parents to bring home revenue. Another root of sexual abuse of children might be the lack of strict punishment in the country. One example is of Pakistan, which is among the countries least safe for children. The rape and murder of a 7 year old girl has led to Pakistan’s first national child abuse law, with the introduction of a penalty of life imprisonment for child abuse by Pakistan’s Human Rights Minister. As part of solution, government needs to stricten laws to prevent child exploitation. It is undeniable that sex crimes are restricted to physical contact. With the advent of technology, sex crimes cases have climbed up. The l’Ombudsperson for children in Mauritius encourages the public to report any case of child abuse to the cybercrime unit. | Sex crimes refer to offenses involving sexual assault or having a sexual motive towards another person who is unwilling and which are illegal. It could be that the sexual assaults take place with a lack of consent by one party or when one individual is incapable of consent. In Mauritius, a simple scan of the popular local newspapers paints the “paradise” island with ominous sex crimes like rape, incest, child sexual abuse and prostitution. The Mauritian civil landscape is fraught with frighteningly frequent sexual crimes. Their causes are worth some thoughts in order to shed the lining that separates Mauritians from potential solutions to these skyrocketing scourges.
First, rape is one of the most prominent sexual assaults in Mauritius. Rape is unlawful sexual intercourse, with or without force,without the consent of the victim. Whilst, Mauritius’ neighbour South Africa has the highest rate of rape in the world, Mauritius itself recorded an average of 43 rape cases in the last 4 years according to Statistics Mauritius, the local government’s official statistics entity. One of the probable causes of rape is psychopathy - a lack of empathy, and poor behavioral controls. Rapists use sex as a weapon to defile and degrade the victim. Rape constitutes the ultimate expression of their anger. In 2020, the majority (91.6%) of victims of sexual violence and sexual exploitation were female. Arguably, the sexist mindset of the Mauritian tapestry fuels rape as it perceives women as being helpless and easy to molest. A major footstep to help in reducing the number of rape cases is to embrace an active anti-rape culture in public communications, teaching consent in sex education classes and prescribing psychological therapy to minor sexual offenders. Moreover, in Mauritius, incest is often reported. Incest is sexual activity between family members or close relatives. The incest taboo is and has been one of the most widespread of all cultural taboos, in present and in many past societies. Currently, some countries are legalising incest, yet remains illegal in many such as Ireland, Mauritius. The perpetrator in the majority of reported cases is a male adult, and most often the victim is a young girl. Some studies have shown that one of its causes is with society as it is a taboo subject. A 1989 academic paper wrote that incest is prevalent when in broken families as relationships between the members are impaired and there is an impulsive acting-out behavior. Many countries such as Argentina, Brazil, India, Thailand, Turkey and Japan have legalised incest. But a better solution might be family and individual therapy, participation in support groups and conversations around this taboo to help reduce the cases of incest. Furthermore, child and teenage sexual abuse cases have been rampant in Mauritius. Actually, in 2020, the Mauritian government published on its website that 65.7% of all sexual offence and crimes’ victims, in Mauritius, were aged below 16 years and 64.3% were students. It could be that the child or teenager is forced or pressured to engage in sexual activities, to intimidate or groom the child, to have physical sexual contact or to use the child to produce child pornography. One cause might be poverty whereby child labour and sexual exploitation arise due to the inability of parents to bring home revenue. Another root of sexual abuse of children might be the lack of strict punishment in the country. Also, teenage sexual abuse is also common as adult sexual predation is ubiquitous to the Mauritian teenage dating scene as flaunting the attention of male adults is a peer status symbol amongst several female teenagers. As part of solution, government needs not only push more draconian laws to prevent child exploitation but sex education classes as well as emotional intelligence classes need to be made mandatory on the island. Another common sex crime and assault in Mauritius happens under the flourishing prostitution business. Prostitution in Mauritius is currently illegal. Amendments have been proposed to our existing laws to give severe punishment to prostitutes, pimps and customers - up to eight years’ imprisonment and Rs 100 000 fines. Superficial measures would not put an end to the “most ancient profession” on earth. Of the causes is the tourism industry of the island which provides an appetite and possibly sustains the sex industry. At times, through physical force, threats, psychological manipulation and other tactics, the perpetrators obtain their victims, at other times the victims volunteer in the face of economic needs. Since the introduction of a revolutionary prostitution law in 1999, in Sweden dramatically reduced the number of its women in prostitution. Thus, one solution might be the legalisation of prostitution which may lead to a fall in the illegal sexual exploitation. Conclusively, sex crimes are a common feature of the Mauritian society. However, it is important to note that sexual offences are not merely restricted to physical contact. There are verbal and psychological dimensions to sex crimes too. In Mauritius, with the advent of technology, sex crimes cases have quickly escalated, this especially in the past two years. As the ombudsperson for children in Mauritius encourages the public to report any case of child abuse to the cybercrime unit, we can only hope that sex crimes no longer remains a prevalent stigma on the “Paradise Island” identity Mauritius prides itself with. |
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